Without a Valentine
by Miles Above My Head
Summary: Natara recalls her first year since meeting Mal without a Valentine. But they'd be together again someday... After all, he promised. -one-shot-


_My name is Natara Williams. I am an FBI profiler. I am a _good _FBI profiler. I was sent to San Francisco many years ago, destined to be partnered up with the SFPD's own Detective Mal Fallon. Mal and I became best friends, slowly. We loved each other. We began our relationship. Mal and I got married. Mal and I will love each other forever._

Everyone was there to see him. Detective Ken Greene, Amy Chen, Kai Kalaba, Blaise Corso, Captain Maria Yeong, Sandra – his ex-wife – was even there.

Everyone Mal loved was there to make this day special for him, because it was special. It was a party. It was what he'd always dreamed of.

They all walked up to him, one by one. They spoke quietly to him, so I didn't know what they were saying. I'm sure he loved it. Everyone's attention was on him.

He was 85 now. It'd been years since we'd met, that long ago time that felt like I'd dreamt it. Now he was sleeping, and everyone was still watching him. I found it rude, how they wouldn't look away - almost like they'd never see him again. Actually…

No. I walked up to him. I recalled something I'd once read in my research about whispering in someone's ear while they sleep changes their dreams. I thought carefully. I could make him dream about me, but that'd be selfish. I could have him dream about the captain, or Ken, or Amy, but that'd remind him of work. He loved his job, but now wasn't the time for work. He should be having fun. I could have him dream about Blaise. She was one of his favorite partners (next to me) – I smirked – and she was one of his closest friends. She'd even had a slight crush on him for a while. No, my anger was flaring. No, I was jealous. I couldn't be jealous now. Today was his day. _Support_, I told myself. _Support him_. Finally I decided to just tell him what he already knew, instead of saying someone's name.

_I love you, Mal_, I whispered down close to his ear. _You're so handsome and charming and sweet. Everyone's here to see you; everyone loves you. Captain Yeong is here. So is Ken. Amy and Kai came too. Blaise is here. _I'm _here, Mal._

I stood up, picturing him whispering my name in his sleep. But he didn't, I knew he wouldn't anyway. He used to do that. He used to.

I remembered when he used to joking me call Kalliope, right after we'd started dating. Kalliope means "beautiful voice" in Greek. I used to get so mad…

I began to sing softly to him, a song I'd heard long ago.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
>A bed of grass, a soft green pillow<br>Lay down your head, and close your eyes  
>And when they open, the sun will rise<em>

_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
>Here the daisies guard you from every harm<br>Here your dreams are sweet–  
>–and tomorrow brings them true<br>Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away  
>A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray<br>Forget your woes and let your troubles lay  
>And when again it's morning, they'll wash away<em>

_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
>Here the daisies guard you from every harm<br>Here your dreams are sweet–  
>– and tomorrow brings them true<br>Here is the place where I love you._

_Here is the place where I love you._

There were people crying behind me now, I guess I'd been singing louder than I'd been at first. I don't know why they were crying. It was almost like they were upset I was singing him to sleep. Why were they still here anyway? It should just be he and I. That'd how I'd always pictured our future… He and I… forever…

"Miss?" A man came up from behind me. He looked like a pastor. "Miss? It's time for the ceremony… Can you please…?"

"No!" I said, suddenly scared. "Wait I …I have to wake him up! He has to… He's not...!"

"Miss, please," the man said, concerned. "Who are you? You do know that this man is…"

"NO!" I screamed. "No! I'm his wife! No, I have to wake him up!"

Eventually, Ken and Kai came up to me and dragged me back to my seat. The ceremony began – his ceremony.

What was today's date again? Oh right, February 14. Valentine's Day? I hadn't even thought about it….after all…

The ceremony ended abruptly and they put a lid on Mal's small bed, which closed with a thump of finality. I started screaming again.

"He's going to suffocate! Open that! Mal! _Mal…!_"

Years later, when I was close to being done grieving, my friends remarked how strong I was. I hadn't cried once all throughout my husband Mal Fallon's funeral. They would've broken down if it was truly the love of _their_ life.

Honestly though, they don't understand. That day at Mal's funeral… Mal was the one true love of my life. Quite honestly, I had no desire to cry. He's just sleeping, waiting for me to join him one day. When that day comes, I'll be ready to meet him, greeting me with open arms. He promised he'd wait for me forever, love me forever, be with me forever…

But then again, maybe I didn't cry for another reason… A part of me died when he did and it was almost like I was gone too and dead people can't cry. After all, you don't cry at your own funeral.


End file.
